A while ago, when my Ducks were about to face off against the New Jersey Devils, I decided to completely take the piss out of Newark. Why? Because I thought it would be funny and make my fellow writers and my readers chuckle. I never envisioned that anyone would A) take it seriously and/or B) take the time to rake me over their self-righteous coals.
So, obviously, I have to share all the stupidity with everyone!
If ya don’t wanna read the whole exchange, here’s the Cliffs Notes version:
At that time, the Ducks were on a losing skid and I said that if they’re in the cellar, then the Devils are under it.
I Googled “what do people in Newark eat?” and this is what popped up: “New York City, Newark and American Airlines Can Eat My S**t” (go ahead, try it, I couldn’t make this stuff up)
I called Portuguese food “nauseating”, emphasized the fact that Newark smells like a swamp, bashed the Devils some more and pretty much intimated that anyone living there would have to earn a few more points on the intelligence scale in order to gain the lofty heights of the title “moron”.
A reader named Linda took extreme offence, so I actually apologized stating that I have been to New Jersey multiple times, have friends there, have eaten good Portuguese food and that the point of this site is to incite.
STILL pissed off, she sent a windy email directly to one of the cofounders of FanSided, demanding that I owed New Jersey an apology, so here goes.