Ducks vs. Sharks – Here We Go Again…Again.

Screw this manufactured “Freeway Faceoff” of Ducks vs. Kings. That’s just a load of malarkey. Yes, Kings fans have an amazing derisive desire to destroy the Ducks, but for the record, the Kings barely blip on our radar. Oh, except for Anze Kopitar, how do we poach him?

No, the real west coast rivalry is Ducks vs. Sharks. We hate them. We want them dead. And they want us dead too.

Is there any jealousy involved? Of course there bloody well is! San Jose gets the cool name, the killer animal association, their own “Ducks Suck!” section at The Shark Tank. It’s soooooooooooooo easy to make fun of Anaheim…I’m not even going to start because all of you reading this know all the tropes.

Makes me want to spend too much money to drive up the coast and take on each and every Duck hater in San Jose.

In preparation for tonight’s contest, here’s a video of what George Parros will do to one of the little fishies.

P.S. I hear a lot of Sharks fans brag that they “bleed teal”…uhm, isn’t teal considered the girliest and lamest colour in the history of the universe? Reserved for the bedrooms of little girls who love unicorns, cry when Bambi’s mother dies and need a nightlight because there are monsters in the closet? … wait, I just described the entire Sharks team!

P.P.S. I just read that one of their slogans is “Fear the fin.” Sorry sweethearts, seeing as I’m a Chink, I’ll cook the fin, thank you very much.