Look At All That Shiny Hardware...

LAS VEGAS - JUNE 23: Duncan Keith of the Chicago Blackhawks poses for a portrait with the James Norris Memorial Trophy during the 2010 NHL Awards at the Palms Casino Resort on June 23, 2010 in Las Vegas, Nevada. (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Duncan Keith and his temporary plastic teeth

 The NHL Awards ceremony at the Palms Las Vegas was definitely a mixed bag of genuine emotion, interesting entertainment, drunken merriment and funny soundbites.

 The only aspect I still can’t wrap my brain around is why in the world was Snoop Dogg part of any of this?  Now, I can understand why there was a Cirque performance (they were in Vegas, after all), but how often do you put “hockey” and “rap” in the same sentence?

Anyway, moving away from that befuddlement, the festivities were finally aired someplace besides NHL.com – VERSUS – for whom hockey has been very good and don’t forget, they’ll be broadcasting the DRAFT as well! 

Okay, since this is all about the Ducks, let’s start with the Bobby vs. Ryan sketch. Wait, that sounds confusing.  It’s not Bobby Ryan vs. himself in some sort of MPD fantasy land, its Bobby Ryan vs. Ryan Getzlaf!  Oh, and the painting really was done by Bobby.  My favourite quotes from Bobby: “Everyone says Canadians are so nice and you know what?  NOT TRUE.” and “If that guy calls me ‘Silver’ one more time, I’m gonna lose it.”  Let’s have a look, shall we?

  Not all the jokes were all that great, but as the MC Jay Mohr said to a heckler, “Hey, how many hockey jokes have YOU had to write?”

Here are a few of the funnies:

Jay Mohr: (referring to Alex Ovechkin) That’s a big, scary man.  After here, he’s gonna go into the Pacific Northwest and scare some campers…is he laughing?

Mark Wahlberg: This is Vegas and a lot of Canadians here too, so pretty much everybody’s drunk, right?

Detroit Redwings’ Pavel Datsuk: (accepting the Selke) I want to thank Management…for paying me…

Phoenix Coyotes Coach, Dave Tippett: (accepting the Jack Adams) It’s one of those nights where a lot of people stand up and thank their owners…I would do that except I don’t know all 29 of them.

Tampa Bay Lightning’s Martin St. Louis: (accepting the Lady Byng) I owe this award to Brad Richards because he told me that Christmas cards to the Referees works all the time.

Guy “Le Démon Blond” Lafleur: Thank you for mentioning I won the Hart [trophy] twice.  By the way, I also won the award for best hair 10 years in a row, but nobody talks about that!

Here’s the rundown:

CALDER MEMORIAL TROPHY – Award for outstanding rookie
Winner: Tyler Myers, Buffalo Sabres
Nominees: Matt Duchene, Colorado Avalanche; Jimmy Howard, Detroit Red Wings
FRANK J. SELKE TROPHY – • Award for outstanding defensive forward
Winner: Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit Red Wings
Nominees: Ryan Kesler, Vancouver Canucks; Jordan Staal, Pittsburgh Penguins
HART MEMORIAL TROPHY – Awarded to most valuable player to his team
Henrik Sedin, Vancouver Canucks
Nominees: Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins; Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
My Two Cents: Woohoo!  What an upset!  As Henrik said, now his brother can’t say he’s the better player.
JACK ADAMS AWARD – Award for outstanding coach
Winner: Dave Tippett, Phoenix Coyotes
Nominees: Joe Sacco, Colorado Avalanche; Barry Trotz, Nashville Predators
My Two Cents: Don’t you feel just a little sorry for Wayne?
JAMES NORRIS MEMORIAL TROPHY – Award for outstanding defenseman
Winner: Duncan Keith, Chicago Blackhawks
Nominees: Drew Doughty, Los Angeles Kings; Mike Green, Washington Capitals
My Two Cents:  NOT Doughty?!  I’m in shock!
MASTERTON TROPHY – Awarded to player “who best exemplifies the qualities of perseverance, sportsmanship and dedication to hockey”
Winner: Jose Theodore, Washington Capitals
Nominees: Kurtis Foster, Tampa Bay Lightning; Jed Ortmeyer, San Jose Sharks
LADY BYNG MEMORIAL TROPHY – Awarded to the player who displays sportsmanship and gentlemanly conduct
Winner: Martin St. Louis, Tampa Bay Lightning
Nominees: Pavel Datsyuk, Detroit Red Wings; Brad Richards, Dallas Stars
My Two Cents: Finally!  Someone besides a guy named after a Star Trek character won!
TED LINDSAY AWARD – Awarded to the most outstanding player as voted by fellow NHLPA members
Winner: Alex Ovechkin, Washington Capitals
Sidney Crosby, Pittsburgh Penguins
Henrik Sedin, Vancouver Canucks
My Two Cents: Okay, we’ve got most outstanding player, now how about Biggest Showboater?
VEZINA TROPHY – Award for outstanding goaltender
Winner: Ryan Miller, Buffalo Sabres
Nominees: Martin Brodeur, New Jersey Devils; Ilya Bryzgalov, Phoenix Coyotes
My Two Cents:  Should’ve been Bryzgy; talk about a guy who carried his team!

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Tags: Alex Ovechkin Anaheim Awards Bobby Ryan Brad Richards Canadians Coyotes Dave Tippett Detroit Redwings Draft Ducks Guy Lafleur Hockey Ice Jay Mohr Lady Byng Las Vegas Mark Wahlberg Martin St. Louis NHL Palms Pavel Datsuk Phoenix Post-Season Ryan Getzlaf Selke Tampa Bay Lightning VERSUS

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