Why Ducks fans should not be rooting for the Flyers
Some influential and in-the-know people (no names, no names) have been espousing the idea that we, as good, solid and loyal fans of the waterfowl should temporarily realign our allegiance to the Philadelphia Flyers…
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Okay, now that my seizure has subsided and the doctor says it isn’t a brain embolism, I may continue.
One reason to support the Flyers that I’ve heard over and over again is even more gossamer than a Mr. Creosote wafer thin mint – because Chris Pronger is on the team and he was a member of the 2007 Stanley Cup Ducks.
That’s like saying you saw your dog eating its own crap, so you figured it must be an okay thing for you to do too.
On the Flyers, the likes of Scott Hartnell, Daniel Carcillo, Arron Asham and Darroll Powe are perfect examples of why the team has maintained their nickname “The Broadstreet Bullies”. They didn’t steamroller the Habs with superior skill or creative coaching. They won by intimidation and attrition. Attributes we should be eschewing, not lauding.
Yeah, yeah, we’re no angels either. Wisnewsky, Brookbank, Parros – we’ve got some ‘splainin’ to do, but go back and re-watch the Flyers run-up to the cup. There’s some pretty ugly knock hockey that went on. Sure, we all gasped a collective “ouch!” when Pepe le Pew took a puck to his skull and bruised his brain (how the heck do you manage to do that!?!?!), but as soon as he returned, he was once again the same dickballarsewipefuckmeat player he has always been.
Root for the Flyers? C’mon Ducks fans! I know you’re more intelligent than that!
Blackhawks is the only way to go. They’ve got the balance. They’ve got the skill. They’re a team that doesn’t look or act like a rink full of Oggie Oglethorpes (and if you don’t get that “Slap Shot” reference, you shouldn’t be watching hockey).
My readers (all three of you) are probably wondering why so angry? Why so angsty? Why am I being such a colossal arsehole?
Well, I’ll tell you why. I had originally intended on writing a well balanced piece weighing the pros and cons between the Blackhawks and the Flyers, but during the course of my research, an infected website took my computer out of action for most of two days, nearly cost me mucho $$$$$$$ to get it fixed and really pissed me off.
…And guess which team the site was dedicated to…
I can’t wait to see The Dunc’s toothless grin, Big Buff’s tomfoolery, Johnny T’s amazin’ skatin’, Mary and the Pattys dance moves, a couple Seabrook/Sopel sandwiches and on-his-way-to-the-hall-of-fame Mr. Toews blow everyone off the ice.